Thought : People

we cant control our life by our self . we can’t pick who can stay with us and no . cant choose the one we love whole time . cant deny anyone who could hurt us the most .

i am an introvert . i didn’t have many close friends . i know how to make friends, but i wont to be closer with them . i hate crowded place which is a lot of people . im not scare to meet new people, just feel uncomfortable .

when i was on my school live, elementary school, junior until senior high school i always have some ‘close’ friend . spend my whole time with them . before class start, break time, after school time, hang out , chit chat , heart to heart talk and other gurl things . since I was in grade school I already have a lot of male friends. I feel comfortable playing alongside men . they’re no backstabing you, no two faced, no talk behind your back .

when i was in JHS, i met a girl who became my friend since we’re in until graduate . on my 9th grade, i made friend with a girl and we’re became a best friend . so me and my 2 girl, we’re in a same class . we’re did homework together, make a trip, photoshooting . and you know what, we love the same guy . hahaha it so classy you know? but its true . we compete fairly . even in the end, none of us can be with him 😂 . the graduate time has come . we’re three test in same high school , and we passed the test! im so happy that i can go to the same school with my girl . then my mom forbid me, she deny me to be there . it so sad for me . crying 2 days non stop . i really want to be there with my best friend . and finaly, i lost my best friend . they have a new friend , they have a new gengs. and i? i’ve got nothing . this is the first time i really hurt by losing someone in my life .

and when i was on high school i didn’t have a good friend either . especially on my 11th grade . I’m in the isolate, they used me for english class, and im meant nothing for them . they never talk to me except they need me . they never ask me to go to caffetaria, they let me sit with down syndrome student who have epilepsy at any time can recurrent .  I swear I never do anything against those who are bullying me . idky why they can do that to me 😔6hours in class feels like a hundred years .

this is them, my friend from elementary school until senior high school :


but now, i have some close friends like i’ve shared on my preview post (click here) i really close with them . laughing together, share food , made a joke , anything ! i never think that they’ll leave me like other people before in my life . i belive them . and for this time, i wont loosing them . why? because they make me extrovert , make me be myself , forgot my traumatic .

my bf said that i should’ve a space with them . they can go wherever they want . i said that , i love to have them but i used to be alone . never fear to be alone . people will come and go in their way . new friend, college, work, new friend or even die . they’re my friends , my best friends . but im not own them .they’re free to go out . they free to stay .

not only friend who can left you behind . even family can leave you when you broke . when you have nothing to gave them . when they’re think that your family just annoy them . when they only see you when you have lots if money . when they can used you . if you have nothing, then you are mean nothing . see ya byebye !

for me, is better we forget than have forgotten . never hate people who left you . they have a reason for it . maybe their life is better without you or your life was better without them . or God will give you the best person on your life . it is their choice whether to stay or go out of your life. not your concern about their options. live your own life. You will not die even though they decided to go away from your life 😊

better you forgive them than hate them . you waste your time for hating someone who never thinking about you even a second . like i said, people will come an go in theyre own way . prepare yourself 😊

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